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Trusting Your Higher Power

Your Higher Power, however you choose to define it, is something that exists independent of you. It is eternal, it is with you always, and most importantly, has nothing but your highest purpose in mind.

We have many sources of willpower within us, many drives in our psyches that influence us, and call on us to act. There are many names for these sources, these psycho-emotional drives. Your willpower is the force of your convictions, the certainty of your choices, and with it, you shape your character by your actions. Your Higher Power is the source of the best of these things. It desires expressly to see you fulfill your personal destiny, to learn all the lessons you can in this life, to spread life and love as only you know how. Your Self Will, on the other hand, is the part of you that desires immediate gratification, runs toward anything that feels good while avoiding pain or difficulty. Self Will primarily has survival in mind, and this is as it should be—our will of Self is what drives human creativity and progress, what gives people the energy to be truly embodied and illuminated, but it has its’ limits of usefulness and it is always helpful to understand the workings of your mind. With Self Will, it is that it has no real concept of long-term, of delayed gratification. To the Self Will, waiting is painful and going against a desire is fought tooth and nail, regardless of the impact it will have on your life. There is no evil here, nothing to hate or fear about yourself, only a drive that needs to be understood so that you can freely make your choices, consciously. The Self Will is an element of what drives addiction, in the sense that the craving feelings, the ability your addiction had and has to change your behavior and decision making, is powerful when unchecked. Another word for the Self Will is Ego.

On the other side, you also have your Higher Power. This is the voice inside you that offers up the best path, not the easiest one. The choices it calls you to make often involve feeling uncomfortable, looking at yourself and your actions clearly and without ego, making amends whenever possible, and generally acting with the best intentions for everyone, including yourself. This Higher Power loves you unconditionally, and because of this, will not drive you to sacrifice your most long-lasting happiness for a temporarily relief in suffering. But also because it is concerned with growth and independence, it is important that you trust in your Higher Power. The more that you trust, deeply trust, in your Higher Power, the more you are allowing it to operate more fully in your life. Trust signals that you are ready to listen, that you have given up trying to be right all the time and would rather instead be happy. When your ego is finally out of the way, then the work of trusting your Higher Power begins, and this is for many people the way their recovery truly starts. As you learn to listen to your highest will, it does not make the Self Will disappear, but it is much easier to live with, as you take things one day at a time.

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